Same Thing We Do Every Night
by Tribble Master
Summary: What are we going to do tonight? Tag to Changing Channels, an explanation of where Castiel went. And a little Bobby too. Crossover with: Family Guy, Wille E. Coyote, Pinky and the Brain, Burn Notice, and several others...
1. Same Thing We Do Every Night

**WHAT? **Castiel disappears and reappears with bruises and there's NO explanation? And then when asked how he is, Castiel says "FINE" and nobody talks to him for the rest of the episode? Quoi?! **"**Fine" is not good enough for me. Kripkie, I demand better.

**FOR THE RECORD: **I do not own Supernatural.

**Set immeaditly after the game show. **

**Same Thing We Do Every Night**

"Who the deuce are you?"

Castiel blinked his eyes open. In front of him was a small toddler in red overalls poking at him. "What?"

A large white dog, that to Castiel's dismay was standing, put his hand on the child's shoulder. "Stewie stop poking him."

Stewie glared at the dog. "Oh come on Brian, you know perfectly well the fat man won't allow me to have anymore strangers in here. I'm just trying to figure out where he came from."

Castiel stood up groggily and straightened his tie. "Uh, what is going on?"

Brian looked at the tall blue eyed strange. "Why don't you tell us? God, I need a drink…"

Stewie grabbed Castiel's hand and led him out the door. "You," Stewie looked up at him, "are coming with me."

Castiel looked down at him. "Small child, I don't know what you're intentions are but I'm leaving."

Castiel yanked his hand away and marched down the stairs. Stewie glared as Castiel went down the stairs. He grabbed his bat and jumped down on him. Brian ran after Stewie, who was beating Castiel's shoulder. "Get it off!" Castiel yelled.

Brian tugged on Stewie's flailing leg and pulled him down. Castiel glared at them. "Leave me be. I am on a very important mission."

Stewie stood up and squinted at him. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm telling Lois!" he said as he ran to the kitchen.

Castiel rolled his eyes and opened the front door to leave the twisted suburbia. To his amazement on the front lawn a very fat was getting beat by large yellow Chicken. Before Castiel could say anything the Chicken noticed him.

"Erm, hello?" Castiel tried.

The Chicken let go of Peter's shirt collar and let him fall down unconscious. The Chicken marched over to Castiel and punched him in the face.

Castiel's head snapped back and blood spurted from his nose. He stumbled backwards as the Chicken advanced. Castiel regained his balance and reached for the lamp on the coffee table.

Swinging it wildly he brought it down across the Chicken's beak. The Chicken kicked out at Castiel and sent him flying through the window. Castiel landed next to the fat man. Rolling the unconscious man aside, he picked up a lawn gnome. Chucking it at the Chicken he hailed a taxi while the yellow beast was distracted.

Recovering from the gnome that had hit his head, the Chicken grabbed Stewie's tricycle and sped after the taxi.

Castiel panicked as he looked in the review mirror and saw the approaching Chicken. The Chicken pulled out his gun and began to aim for the tires of the taxi. The taxi swerved uncontrollably and cashed into the street light. Castiel apologized to the driver and got out. He pulled a large gun out of his trench coat, briefly wondered where he had gotten it from, and showered the Chicken that was coming at him in lead spray.

The Chicken somersaulted off the tricycle and barely avoided the cold shower of bullets. With one injured wing he ran at Castiel screaming. Castiel met his battle cry and lunged forward. Feathers flew on both sides as they pummeled each other in their dance of destruction.

Castiel, filled with fury grabbed the Chicken and threw him onto a truck bed. He jumped onto the truck bed and continued kicking him. To their dismay, the truck driver got in the truck and started. The kick start of the engine made Castiel lose his balance briefly.

The Chicken took this opportunity to a sweep out his leg and make Castiel fall into the truck as well. Castiel face planted the cold metal, making him briefly see stars. The Chicken grabbed his hair and slammed his head down into the metal several times.

Meanwhile on the road, a bus full of nuns had run into a truck carrying dynamite and had created a raging fire that resulted in a temporary road block. The truck driver made a sharp turn to avoid the black, white, and red mess.

As he spun sharply Castiel and the Chicken flew off the bed onto the truck. They rolled down the grass into the motel sign.

Castiel regained steady footing first. He lifted the chicken up by the scruff of his next and slammed the yellow bastard into the Daisy Motel sign. He slumped towards the motel. "I'm so sick of this shit!" he yelled.

He kicked down the door.

There was clapping. He glared at the ceiling and the laugh track.

He relaxed when he saw Sam and Dean. "This thing is much more powerful than any Trickster!" he huffed.

He looked behind him. Out the door he could see the chicken stirring. Knowing his time was short he spoke up, "If it is a trickster at all…"

As Sam and Dean ran towards him to ask about it, he was slammed forcefully into the wall. When he looked up duct tape was firmly on his mouth, and that his brother was tsking at him.

With a flash Castiel felt himself forcefully removed.

Castiel looked around the arid desert where he had been placed. Standing over him was a tall road runner with it's head cocked to one side. "Beep beep!" it smiled before running away from him.

Castiel ripped the duct tape of his mouth and looked around. Next to him was small box that said on it, _Acme Explosives…_

"What the he--" Castiel started to say before the box exploded.

As he was torn apart by the explosion, he rematerialized as the channel changed.

Castiel stood shakily in the straw filled cage. Looking around, he noticed he wasn't the only one in the cage.

"What are we going to do tonight, Brain?" said the first inhabitant, a tall slender mouse.

"Same thing we do every night, Pinky." Brian said as he looked over at Castiel. "Try and take over the world."

"Narf!" Pinky clapped. "What about him?"

Brain picked up his screwdriver. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Pinky nodded. "Yes, but Brain- where will he get the blueberries?"

Castiel looked around for a weapon as he swore to himself he would never watch TV again. Even if Dean was insisting they watch Dr. Sexy together.

**.:To Be Continued:.**


	2. Influential Television

Some of you put this on alert, so I figured- What the hell, I like making obscure refrences and beating up Castiel...So, viola! The real final chapter.

**FOR THE RECORD: **I do not own Supernatural, Family Guy, Dora the Explora, Wille E. Coyote, Pinky and the Brain, Dr. Sexy MD, Nutcracker!, Desperate Housewives, Lost, Power Puff Girls, Burn Notice, or Star Trek.

**Chapter Two: ****Influential Television**

Bobby wheeled himself out of the kitchen over to the living room. He clicked on the old TV he hadn't used in ages and relaxed.

Grumpily, he flipped the channels until he saw that Dr. Sexy, MD was playing. He watched intently for a few minutes as Dr. Picolo, the sexy yet earnest surgeon, performed surgery.

"What!" he gestured at the screen. "That's not how you set a bone!"

He watched intently as Dr. Picolo began to sew up the other wounds. He yelled at her, "Do your damn job right or not at all!"

Rolling his eyes, he changed the channel and settled back. He sipped his beer as the he watched his favorite Japanese game show. "Answers obvious, idiot," he growled in fluent Japanese, "it's Edison! How do you not know who the Wizard of Menlo Park is?"

As the next contests came onto Nutcracker! he nearly choked on his beer. Wiping froth from his beard, he hastily grabbed his cell phone.

"Hello?" came the tired answer.

"Castiel," Bobby straightened his hat, "you there?"

"Where else would I be?" The angel replied grumpily.

"What are you doing?" Bobby questioned the angel's strange tone.

Castiel looked up at the large plasma screen TV he had been watching in the vacant house. The exciting climax of Desperate Housewives was playing before him, and every second he talked on the phone was another he missed. "Nothing." He snapped. "What is it?"

"I need you to go find Sam and Dean." Bobby sighed. "Those idjits are in a mess of a trouble."

Castiel glared at the phone, willing for his intense dislike of this interruption during his new found discovery of television to be audible. "Fine. Do you even know where they are?"

"Wellington, Ohio."

"Can it wait twenty minutes?"

Bobby looked onto the TV as Sam was brutally hit in the nuts. After a sharp intake of breath he shook his head. "No. Strap on your angel wings and go now."

"Yes sir." Castiel rolled his eyes and hung up.

Susan looked at Mike longingly as Castiel sadly clicked off the television.

With a flutter he was at their motel. He noticed the TV, but figured it could wait. He went outside the Daisy Motel and found the Impala's trail.

Meanwhile, Bobby watched Dean stumble through his Japanese. "Who taught that boy how to conjugate?"

When he saw Castiel appear his eyes widened. To his dismay the all three of them disappeared from the Nutcracker! within minutes.

Bobby quickly changed the channel surfing for the Winchesters or Castiel.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

After fighting the Chicken, surviving Acme, and being fed mouse pelts, Castiel was rudely wakened by a kick to the ribs.

"Who are you is what I ask because I wish to know who you are since you are not me and I know who I am I ask who you are!" Shouted a very short monkey at Castiel.

Castiel looked up at the flowing purple cape, the white boots, and stripped helmet. "Castiel?" he said dazedly.

Mojo Jojo glared at him. "What are your intentions for invading my laboratory which you have invaded when you burst into my laboratory?"

Castiel stood up and looked around the dome shaped laboratory. "Can you repeat that?"

Mojo Jojo huffed. Suddenly a high pitched falsetto voice wafted around them, "Mojo can't you see? He doesn't belong here."

"Oh great." Mojo Jojo rolled his eyes. "It's _Him_."

"Mojo, don't be rude. You were planning having me help you this afternoon." Him continued as he appeared. He snapped his pink claws as he approached Castiel. "Maybe he could help us as well."

Mojo Jojo looked at Castiel. "He doesn't even wear a cape like a decent villain that would wear a cape which I do because I am the greatest villain of all time."

"Do you even listen to yourself talk?" Him sighed, turning to Castiel. "And you, what brings you here? A life of crime?"

Castiel looked at them. He started to back away. "I think I'll stick to flying solo."

There was a shattering noise as three similarly dressed kindergartners burst into the laboratory.

"You're not going to do any evil today!" Buttercup shouted.

"Yeah!" Blossom chorused. "You may have gotten _Him _to make us think the Gang Green Gang was up to no good but we recognize your monkey business!"

Castiel looked around the motley crew. "Um, I'm going to leave…"

"Oh so, now you're recruiting?" Bubbles smirked. "Let us submit our application!"

The girls flew at them with their fists held out. Him threw up his claws as Buttercup clashed into him. She yelled as she began using her laser vision to break apart Him.

Buttercup easily grabbed Mojo Jojo by the cape and flung him at the wall.

"No wait!" Castiel started to say as Bubbles began to furiously hit him.

Bubbles flew around him, her pig tails flying. Castiel struck out blindly, miraculously hitting Bubbles. She fell to the floor. Standing up she glared at him and inhaled.

"Oh no." Casitel's eyes widened as a sense of foreboding came over him.

Bubbles used her ice breath to freeze the angel in place. She looked over at her sisters. "I got him!"

She pointed excitedly at the snow angel, but when she looked back he was disappearing rapidly.

Castiel thawed quickly as he reappeared on a tropical island.

"Hello, stranger," said the blonde southerner to him, "you look like you could use a drink."

Castiel looked at him, and shrugged. He took the offered flask. After one long swallow he handed it back. "Castiel." He sputtered.

"Sawyer." The man smiled. "Welcome to the island."

Castiel smiled back, glad to finally see a friendly face. To his dismay, his vision started to go black around the edges. Behind him he heard a rustling sound, as he turned around a tall bald man slammed the butt of a riffle into his head. "We don't like the Others." Sawyer hissed, standing over the unconscious angel.

Locke looked up at Sawyer. "Help me drag him to the hatch."

Sawyer nodded. "And then I'll get Sayid. He'll get answers from this bastard."

When Castiel woke up, Sayid was standing over him shaking his head sadly. "Castiel, is it? Care to tell us where your base camp is?"

"What?" Castiel said incredulously.

Sayid picked up a small blade. Running it lightly over Castiel's jaw line, he hissed, "That's not what I wanted to hear."

Castiel looked at him fearfully. "I don't know anything I swear!"

Sayid pressed the blade harder, creating a shallow cut starting at Castiel's eyebrow going down only an inch. "Then how'd you get here!"

Castiel uttered a string of obscenities at the Iranian.

Sayid stepped back. "Do you honestly expect me to believe your bull shit?"

He set down the knife and looked at the other tools he had, a screw driver, some bamboo… He shrugged. "You know what, I'm sick of this island. I've been looking for a reason to beat something."

Reeling his fist back he brought he slammed it into Castiel's jaw.

Castiel inhaled sharply as he saw stars. When his vision cleared, the scenery was different. Castiel looked up at the palm trees and rolled over. He stood up and took deep breaths.

He heard the cocking sound of a gun and turned around. Michael Weston held the gun at point blank range. "Where's Fiona?" Michael hissed.

Castiel threw up his hands. He sorely wished he was back fighting the Chicken, where at least he could hit back. Castiel looked around and swallowed. "The Sunshine motel?" he tried.

Michael's brow furrowed. "There's no such place in Miami. You're lying."

He fired the gun.

As it was about to impact Castiel suddenly found himself in a strange cavern standing next to three red-shirt-wearing men. They all spun around at his appearance holding out their phasers shakily.

Castiel held up his hands. "I mean you no harm."

They shared a glance. "You must be one of the miners." The leader of the trio said. "We'll escort you back up to the surface."

Castiel bit his lip. "Okay…"

Suddenly, a devil in the dark burst out of one of the winding tunnels that surrounded them. The larger dark brown creature, with lava pooling across it's back, reared as it lunged at them.

"The Horta!" The second ensign screamed.

Castiel looked up in terror as the Horta brought her weight down upon him. Her black underside engulfed him with fiery intent. To Castiel's dismay he wasn't disappearing, but slowly being burned alive despite his screams.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Oh come on!" Bobby screamed at the television. He threw down his beer. "There was three red shirts there! You can't kill original characters until you kill the red shirts!"

Bobby clicked his remote angrily.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

As he felt the pain sear across his burning flesh there was fizzing sound and reappeared in the warehouse whole and un-burnt. He glared at Gabriel.

"I'm fine." He snapped at the Winchesters.

After dealing with Gabriel, they walked out to the car. Casitel stood by the warehouse door way while Sam and Dean talked by the Impala. Inside was his brother, Castiel remembered when he had grown up with Gabriel all the games they had played. The kid had always been a joker, but now… Castiel's face fell when he thought of all the ways his family had been torn asunder.

He walked over to Sam and Dean, his new brothers in arms. They were a little rough around the edges, but that's what made a family.

Dean glanced at him. "Castiel you look like hell."

"Same to you, princess," he snapped.

Sam laughed. "C'mon guys, let's get the hell out of here."

Castiel looked at Sam. "It's about fucking time."

Dean shook his head. "Clearly, TV is not a good influence for you at all."

Castiel raised one eyebrow. "Fascinating."

**The End**


End file.
